marina abramovic

this past friday night, my two friends kat and danlly, got in line at 9:20 pm and 11 something ish almost midnight respectively outside MoMA to wait and see Marina Abramovic. it was kat's second time, danlly's first. i had debated about joining them but other plans and a house party i was photographing in bushwick detained me.
saturday i went to bbq in staten island, i got there at around 1 pm. at around 7, people started to peter out and my mind started wandering, i began thinking about the exhibit, it was almost over, it ends monday or tomorrow. should i go? should i go? i texted a friend, she said do it. i should, i should, i should.
misha, i said to my friend, walk me to the bus, i'm going to MoMA.
an express bus that wasn't much express, charged my phone, grabbed a red bull, took a cab there and arrived at 10 pm, i was 3rd in line.
it was good vibes, my friend sterling came at 10:30 to sit with me and kept me company until 1 am.
i made some great line buddies- aman, melanie, dena and chanda. they had all been there before, but melanie and dena hadn't sat with marina yet.
everyone started talking about good vibes and energy, the people i sat with (most of them) practiced yoga and meditation. they all had the most calming effect.
marina's projects tend to bring out good vibes, bad vibes and darwinism in people, i htink that's what drew me to it. its about the human condition, the experience and the endurance.
people passed out numbers, we maintained order.
at 11 something i went to get coffee and food for myself and others and when i returned, a german woman #7, was sitting in my vacated spot. i felt violated and my line buddies were not happy with her sitting there. cutting is incredibly frowned upon. we formed our own rules, thus people cannot violate the group rules. i wanted to growl, i felt violated, that was my spot! i felt possesive but didn't want to start a fight. i sat down across form her and implied i wanted my spot back. she eventually moved and when she did, melanie and dena scurried over whispering reclaim your spot! and thus i did.
i noted in my notebook at 11:30 am, the there are mosquitoes and i m still awake.
1:30 am, lots of laughter in line (from my group).
5 am, i can't sleep, the concrete is unforgiving, and it's cold.

the waiting and endurance of waiting is just as much as a performance as sitting with abramovic
we got inside and waited some more, there was so much excitement.
once inside, we sat down, there were performers and vips in front of us, only six though. i bumped back to nine. an australia lady kept trying to weasel end behind us. she acted like b/c we formed the line, we were in charge and no matter how we tried to convince her, that we had formed a pact as the whole group of line waiting, that we weren't in charge, we were all in charge, the # system is a way to maintain order in the anarchy, peaceful anarchy, a community and we all agreed to it. at some point, two people behind us came up and said they would get the guards if she didn't leave, she could leave with dignity but it wasn't fair for everybody leave.
she was kind of harshing on our vibes (haha), but she left. we meditated and laughed.

marina is a tibetan buddhist and that makes sense that i felt a level of ascetiscm within her work. i also felt there is a level of zen or energy that were similar in monasteries (i wrote this before entering the space) and that was true in teh space but to a much smaller degree.

i was nervous to sit with marina. the 15 minutes went by so incredibly quickly. i got an incredibly maternal vibe from her. we had a mind conversation, i told her it was uncomfortable sitting there and she said i know, it's okay. she told me that everything is going to be okay. my mind jumped alot. then it was over. i felt like she was a mom, maybe of a 15 yr old son. i don't know if that's true.
it was like having a mimimalist conversation with my friend's (any friend's) mom.
dena and melanie cried afterwards, i feel like their sitting was more meditation and yoga centric, they said they felt a lot of peace.

it was worth it, i would it again. i debated about doing it again tonight.

i went through the rest of the exhibition of her work and saw henri cartier bresson's work. i was so tired.
she has a beautiful force, it was intense but for different reasons. to sit and stare and try to non verbal communicate and connect with someone that you don't know but you definitely have knowledge of them, you bring so many different things to the table. it was just an interesting way to see someone. staring at her, i felt my vision focus on her entire face, and then just her eyes, putting her face out of focus. she was here, real, in front of me. she was real.
she is real.

in order
(wearing rachel comey dress and shoes)

how to dress for work: or rather...how i dress for work

inspired by this recent series that sadie from jezebel has been doing, i've decided to devote an entry to office wear. see...my whole problem with office wear is that i work in the art and sometimes fashion industry. what is defined by "business attire" could be a number of things and being southern, i always want to look appropriate.
so here are some outfits i've been wearing to my internship.
NOTE: IGNORE THE DOPEY FACES I AM MAKING. cos modeling is haaaard work.

anna sui dress with repetto flats.
while it's silk with super long sleeves, this outfit is really easy to move in. and, inspite of being white, it is also good internship out fit in case they ask you to do errands or move things, or lift things, or inventory sitting on the ground, ect.


mayle dress, rachel comey belt, repetto flats
again, same idea here. it's a neutral but with a hounds-tooth print chiffon over a silk lining, and a grosgrain ribbon detail. honestly, the wonderful thing about mayle is that almost all of the dresses are incredibly easy to move in. the hard thing about mayle? jane did such a good job designing them to be causal but dressy, beautiful and simple that sometimes i wonder if they are appropriate for a work place. then, you know, i thought about it and looked around, and was like um. hell yes they are. this is so easy to move in, it's lightweight, i walk five hundred miles in it, yadda yadda.


silk top from buffalo exchange, marni skirt, rachel comey shoes
okay so this is the outfit i wanted to wear today. but i checked weather.com (my new best friend for all time) and it said it was reaching the 90s today. and figuring that i am the intern, i shouldn't wear an outfit that consists of a silk, semi long sleeved top in hot weather when i may have to tote around things. but i love this outfit. so maybe next week? if it cools down

WHAT I DID WEAR TODAY

vintage cropped jacket, sunshine and shadow tank top, prada skirt, rachel comey shoes
so it was hot, i figured tank top it is in case of sweating and or other hot weather related issues. i actually got a ton of compliments on this outfit at work today (by a ton,i mean by the gallery manager and one of the owner's that always wants to see what i'm wearing-fyi there are three gallery owners). this outfit is really simple but that is sort of the appeal of it. within it's simplicity, it has a vintage, new look feel to it. i THINK that i kind of (if you squint) look like elizabeth taylor (the haircut helps). but i was right in thinking i had to run errands today, i had to walk five avenue blocks to go to whole foods (but the gallery paid for my lunch today! score!) and this was a perfect out to walk in and walk back, carrying cookies, coffee and three different types of milk that were all individual quarts.


my biggest problem is trying to dress in a way that is appropriate for my work place, which has a dress code. i intern at an art gallery that is rather reputable and thus, has an image and a brand to maintain. so i view getting dressed as more costume design, what will fit the brand that i am at but will also still maintain my sense of self and style. b/c i am interning, i feel more of a need to look appropriate all the time, sometimes people wear jeans (black for girls, the guys tend to get away with wearing normal jeans, however they also end up moving large framed prints occasionally during the day). i've never work jeans but then again, i'm not hired to work there, i am volunteering and anyone can intern, not everyone can work there. thus, i should look professional all the time, at least that is how i see it.
now it's super hot out which does make business attire harder. a blazer thrown over a cotton dress with a pair of heels does look quite business-y but what is harder is making that cotton sun dress work. add heels, but depending upon the cut and fabric, it could look quite garden party and less "hi, i am selling thousands of dollars of art, take me seriously." how to combat this? wear neutral heels and a simple print. or make sure it's silk instead of cotton.
i've tried searching blogs for examples of what to wear that is INTERESTING and AWESOME. but the sartioralist has become hit or miss so frequently lately. a pretty, thin, white rich women in gladiator sandals and a white shift isn't exactly inspiring or something that i can base my work clothes off of.
any suggestions?
*c*

oak party and ZEBULON

some photos of the oak surface to air party.
my new buddy emerald invited me to go, so i brought miss aviva with me.
it was fun. we got free ice cream and ran into laia
she had on the coolest boots! proenza schouler lace ups.
check out the hair installation.




emerald and her friend


cheap monday top, prada pants, jeffrey campbell shoes, antipast socks and a '20s marching jacket



laia looking lovely

aviva in vintage


aviva and i (sporting new lopped off locks, mind you) stayed for about an hour. then we trekked to williamsburg to see the sam doores band play (they had just arrived from new orleans!) and the dough rollers.
the sam doores band


the doughrollers



zebulon interior



and on a completely different and random note, i think my camera may be broken. the focusing has been quite off, like way off, recently. which is sad.
anywho, off to work! going to be late, again.
*c*

terry richardson, i think you are a jerkface.

The problem about terry richardson
After seeing arabella and tavi post on Richardson, I felt like it was time for me to post as well. The sexual assaults brought against Richardson have been bothering me for a while and now, I have something I want to say.
The thing that bothers me about Richardson and various models coming forward and claiming sexual harassment is that even his friends are somewhat alluding to his “bad” behavior.
“I’ve worked with Terry and Terry has asked me to do some crazy things,” Jacobs said. “I know that those pictures will exist if I do them. But I’m a big boy and I can say no.”... Talking more widely about the industry, he added: “If a girl is underage, maybe the girl’s agent or chaperon should be present on the shoot. That’s the hard part. Who’s to blame or who’s to watch?” Marc Jacobs.
What I find so infuriating about Marc Jacob’s statement and I love Marc Jacobs, btdubs, is that Marc Jacobs is a famous fashion designer of three huge fashion lines, he has the power and the right to say no. Imagine, if you will, that you are a young new model and are working for Richardson, do you necessarily have the power to say no, to refuse a shoot that makes you uncomfortable and know that you may be blowing your big break? You can or you can’t. debating upon that scenario, I leave that up to your own valuation. Perhaps Rie Rasmussen can say it better than I, “…He takes girls who are young, manipulates them to take their clothes off and takes pictures of them they will be ashamed of. They are too afraid to say no because their agency booked them on the job and are too young to stand up for themselves."
I was talking to some of my friends about this and Richradson. All of their opinions where “He is a super creepy guy, he calls himself Uncle Terry..” And I quite frankly, I agree. As a photographer, he really bothers me on multiple levels. His artwork, if you want to call it that, uses an intense flash and features an almost pornographic type quality. One could say that it flattens the females body, making it look almost unreal. What it does, it highlights the variations in color, such as the nipples and pubic hair, particularly with darker haired women. The flash then highlights the most sexual parts of the woman while flattening any identifying marks on her body and even washing out her face, perhaps one of the most indentifying aspects of a person’s physique. The level of "comedy" and flash don't necessarily create art, what it creates is a disjunction of the body. Particularly, when Terry himself injects his own appearance in the image. I, as a consumer and artist, find his work creepy bc of how the flash flattens and almost distorts the body. His schtick is overt and obvious sexuality verging on shock and pornography, ie take for instance his work of batman and robbin making out. His work is hyper sexual but in a way without thinking, its shallow and an almost cardboard cut out version of sexuality. Richardson’s women are not women but sexual objects. They seem to lack thought and personality, in fact the only thing they same to posses are vaginas that Richardson sometimes uses as hats (The Journal, I’m looking at you). So, bottom line, I don’t like his aesthetic. And the beauty of art is that taste is personal and personally, I find Richardson’s work tasteless.
But perhaps the biggest problem is that Richardson is a creep and there is nothing really illegal about that. More infuriating, people don’t really seem to care. To be blasé and dismal of his behavior, is doing a detriment to the fashion community. To make an issue of body size and BMI, is great, it’s a step in the right direction, but then to brush these allegations under the rug, and they could be false, but to denounce victims and victim blame, is not only hypocritical but insulting to sexual assault victims everywhere. Assault, mentally or physically, is a crime. But even beyond that, what is appropriate on a set? There should be handlers on set, always. Some photographers are creepy, some situations are bad places to be in what is most troubling is what are agencies doing to combat this?

Jenna from Jezebel says,”The fashion industry has yet to demonstrate that it is capable of sidelining predatory individuals like Richardson — and the hesitancy of models to speak up has to be due in part to that fact, which reinforces the perception that any complaint would be futile. Agencies may simply not be equal to the task of protecting their models from sexual harassment on the job. And that's a troubling thought indeed.” But even beyond that, as a photographer, I find it so incredibly upsetting that there HAS to be a handler on set, shouldn’t the person in power, the photographer with the phallus (as Richardson sometimes calls the camera), be respectful of their subjects and respect their boundaries? I take my job, as a photographer, very seriously. If my models are uncomfortable, what can I do to make them more comfortable and keep them in a respectful and fun environment? Terry Richardson may not have done anything “wrong” in this case. But that doesn’t give him license to be a creep. Being a creep that takes off his clothes to make girls feel more “comfortable” on sets and often engages in public sexual acts in his studio, in front of assistants, even if the sexual acts were consistently. I’m sorry, that’s unprofessional and creepy. And that is what is most upsetting of all, Richardson is just a famous creep with a camera and the fashion world just finds that dandy.

We should band together, as a community, and say no to this behavior. I plan on not buying anymore publications that use Richardson’s work, starting now. I do not find Richardson’s demeanor or behavior okay or funny. Uncle Terry, you can kiss my feminist ass.

so i'm a college graduate

and here are some things that i wore to my graduation festivities


mayle pants, madewell shirt, miu miu shoes

cynthia rowley sequin shorts and top, repetto flats



and now that imma graduate, let the job hunt begin!!
oh jeez...
okay, stay positive.
charge forth for job searching!
yay?

but to be real and frank for a second, as scared as i am, i'm also really excited. the speaker for tisch commencement (there are multiple colleges at nyu, tisch is the art college) was describing how much media is changing and how we share and look at media is changing, it was only five years ago that youtube was created. i live in a time, where i don't necessarily remember posting ads in a newspaper for a secretary, i live in a time where you look at craigslist. so....my peers and i are the ones that will be figuring out how to navigate this world that is mainly digital and intangible, this crazy new world. and that's really exciting. as a photographer, it's bizarre and neat and scary. what with the ease it takes to upload images onto the web, i often wonder (and should look into watermarking) where mine go and who sees my work? trademarking and the idea of it is changing so rapidly in a digital realm. the printing press redefined literature, photography changed the art world, the internet is changing how we intake media.
i'm super scared and excited to be an artist in these times.

*c*

happy graduation to me

happy graduation to me



miu miu shoes, deardorff 5x7 camera with a 4x5 reduction back


i graduate tuesday with the tisch salute, thursday with the all nyu commencement

ta ta till then,
caroline

end of the year, end of the line

even with finals and the scary, daunting feelings bubbling upon the impending dispora of myself and my friends, of the excited but scared REAL LIFE about to happen (cos you know...colllege ain't real...), of being jobless but not homeless, my degree almost in hand even with my credits, still apparently, not figured out (damn you study abroad!!!), i still managed to find time to explore.
and explore... i did.


the wonderful taylor poulin


the amazing kat hughes


i want to live there one day


rachel comey top, miu miu skirt.


now its off for me to pitter patter in various nyu buildings and get all of my credits in order so i can matriculate. you know, i used to complain that i wanted to stay in school forever. umm...why hello there, irony. yes it's nice to meet you, yes, no no yes,i'd really rather like to graduate.
cordially yours,
c